Trauma
“Imagine you have a beautiful crystal vase. Then imagine that you accidentaly knock it off the table and it shatters into pieces on the floor. We all understand it isn’t the vase’s fault that it was pushed off the table and shattered. But still, it is broken. It is worthless. You don’t want it anymore. So you sweep it up and throw away the pieces. That is how I felt”
(Smart and Stewart, “Elizabeth Smart: My Story”, St. Martin’s Griffin, 2014).
Do you feel broken? Did something happen that you just can’t understand? Are you so overwhelmed by an experience that you have shut down emotionally? Oftentimes the first step in the healing process is recognizing and acknowledging that something bad happened. Once we realize what happened was not right our subconscious starts looking for ways to help us heal. Here are a few basics to guide you on your journey.
Disclaimer: I am not a therapist. I am just sharing resources that I have found to be helpful.
Please contact a licensed therapist if you feel overwhelmed or stuck.
What is Trauma?
“Trauma is not what happened TO you. Trauma is the wound that you sustained.”
– Dr. Gabor Mate
“Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next.
Spend your energy moving forward together towards an answer.”
– Denis Waitley
How to Identify Trauma
Sometimes we already know what happened and our trauma is easily identifiable. Other times things we may not realize that we have been through trauma.
If you are unsure but curious if you experienced trauma in childhood you can take the ACE test below.
The ACE [Adverse Childhood Experiences] test is a questionnaire that asks about 10 types of childhood trauma. This is not a definitive test, but can give you an idea of you have experienced childhood trauma.
Click here to learn more about Adverse Childhood Experiences and their effects.
Signs of Possible Trauma
- Nightmares or inability to have a restful sleep
- Intrusive thoughts or flashbacks of the event
- Difficulty remembering, concentrating, or focusing
- Feeling disconnected from yourself
- Disorientation or confusion
- Mood swings
- Chronic sense of fight / flight / freeze
- Chronic fatigue (no matter how much you sleep)
- Sense of chronic pain
- Intestinal distress or disturbance
- Chronic headaches or general pain in your body
- Feeling helpless or hopeless about the future
- Becoming irritated or angry frequently
- Avoiding people, work, and events
- Little or no interest in things you used to enjoy
- Staying excessively busy to block out the memories
- Isolating
“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl,
but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
– Martin Luther King Jr
How to Start Healing from Trauma
“Your past does not equal your future.”
– Anthony Robbins
Phases of Trauma Recovery
Safety and Stabilization
Remembrance and Mourning
Reconnection and Integration
“The first goal of trauma recovery should and must be to improve your quality of life on a daily basis”
(Rothschild, 2010)
https://trauma-informed.ca/recovery/phases-of-trauma-recovery/